I heard a joke many years ago that I still think is pretty funny. Apparently two Hillbilly-Americans come down from them thar hills into the big city for the first time. Unfortunately for them, all they have is five dollars, and they stand there on the street corner, wondering what they can do with just five bucks. One of them (probably Cletus) says, “Hey! I know! I’ll be right back!”
Cletus grabs the money, rushes into the drugstore, and comes out moments later with a box of a popular name-brand feminine hygiene product. “Cletus, you IDJUT!” says the other Hillbilly-American, “You went and spent all our gol-darn money… and got a box of TAMPONS??? What are we gonna do NOW???”
And Cletus says, “Jest simmer down there, Jed… I saw a ad fer these things… and it says we can go swimmin’, we can ride bikes, we can go horseback ridin’…”
Heh, heh. And if there’s one thing we learn from looking at the pictures in medical brochures, it’s this: Illnesses can be fun!
For example, this picture seems to indicate that diabetes is a real hoot. This couple is having the time of their lives! I want me some o’ that there diabetes! Oh wait. I already have type 2 diabetes.
Or, you could get yourself some gout. Now, I’ve had gout too, and I never realized it was this much fun! I usually associate it with activities like pounding my toes with a ballpeen hammer. But just take a look at this nice couple. It’s apparent that they ‘re really enjoying it.
If those don’t sound good to you, how about menopause? Admittedly not everyone can enjoy menopause, only women. This seems a bit exclusionary to me. Now this is somewhat at odds with what I’ve been told, because, I’ve heard horrifying tales of hot flashes, mood swings, and other unpleasantness, but just one look at the picture below and you can plainly see that it’s the ultimate party. And you can share it with the kids and grandkids! Why, it’s just grand!
After having seen all the TV commercials for prescription drugs like Skyrizi and Ozempic and Jardiance, and all those people who take them and then go to the beach, or mountain biking, or have picnics and campfires with multicultural groups of smiling, energetic friends, I was going to ask my doctor if they were right for me. But I think maybe I’ll just go ahead and get me some diabetes and a bit more gout. Maybe have a stroke next year.
Oh, wait. I just realized that in order to have all this fun, you have to take your medications. I’m a type 2 diabetic, I’ve had gout, and heart surgery. So ask your doctor if medications are right for you. Make a list from all the pharma commercials you see and ask which ones are right for you. Your doctor will love you for it!